Love yourself first

The words love yourself first have been tattooed on me since I was 18 and 5 years later it is something I still struggle with. At the time it was what I wanted to get and thought hey if I get the words permanently on my body I would miraculously start to truly love my self. Boy was I wrong. 

I battle with anxiety, identity, self hate and a slew of other things on a daily basis. I don’t know who I am or who I want to be yet. Sadly my anxiety hinders me from exploring and experiencing life to figure these things out. I want to wake up one day and just have all the answers. I want to wake up and actually like the person I am.

Today I took the time out to make a list of all the things I hate about myself and the things I like. Once I was done I just felt worse than when I started the list. Seeing the list of things I hate have two columns and what I like only being three things made me realize I’m just torturing myself. Why did I write the list in the first place. 

The last thing I wanted my blog to be was post after post being so depressing but this is what I am dealing heavily with and trying to overcome. Just not sure how. 

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